My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
