I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize