college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize