'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
