I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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