cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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