She said her name was "party"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
