I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You are a genius and a whore.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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