I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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