Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
