my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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