you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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