did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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