Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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