Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
