Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
