I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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