I want to have your abortion
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
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