Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
