I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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