Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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