you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
