She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Green mimosas i think yes
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
