i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
