i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
