Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
