Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
