I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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