Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
