I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
