I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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