Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
North Korea, Best Korea!
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
