The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
