i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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