He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You work out of a Hotel?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
