need another drink. this is the easiest way
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Rumble strips road head = magical
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
