You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
