so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
