My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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