she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize