So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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