He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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