I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
