I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We just shotgunned beers for America
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
