He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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