I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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