YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
