dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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