Don't you send me to vm
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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