Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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