My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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