I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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