after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
