But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
