I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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