I'm pants shitting drunk right now
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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