you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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