just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
