I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
