thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
